Keith was tired from some of his recent adventures and all the travel.  He found that he was working longer hours and travelling further to make the same amount of money he used to.  The slow Universal economy was really making it tough out there.  More guys from the competition were showing up at his client base and fewer of his clients were buying.  Things had been tough because he kept finding himself in dangerous spots.  The Rojean experience had been scary, dangerous and didn’t lead to even the slightest chance at a sale.  Wasted.  The Bulutian trip had him getting shot at but did actually lead to a huge sale, apparently as much as the Bulutian purchaser hated humans, he really loved the screw gun and he decided to instantly convert the entire Bulutian stock of screw-guns into Keith’s product. It actually lead to Keith’s largest order in his life.  So it was time to take a vacation.

Keith had recently met a wonderful young lady named Tina, she was a cool girl who wasn’t bothered by the time he was away.  She was a beautiful blonde with incredible green eyes.  But it wasn’t her looks that made her stand out, she challenged Keith on everything they did.  They played BoganBall, a game a lot like the human old fashioned game of pool, except paid in three dimension with 8 holes, they had met at a BoganBall hall that Keith frequented.  He was well known there for his skill and few would play him for money anymore.  But he kept his skills sharp there so he could travel and win some money for some unsuspecting aliens.  However Tina was crazy enough to walk in and lay a big bet against him.  She pushed him to the last ball.  She talked some good trash the entire game and laughed a ton.  Keith played his hardest and found himself impressed.  Most of their future dates took them to places where they could compete and then drinks.  Keith was quickly falling in love.  So he booked a vacation with her to test their relationship.  Little competing, although they would certainly be in the casino and probably a poker tournament, all alien races loved the human invention of the casino and especially poker.  But he wanted to know if he could relax with her.

Keith planned a trip to a remote tourist planet, something like what people thought of when the went to Maui or to an all-inclusive in Mexico back on Earth.  A place where a good number of aliens would visit which is always fun in making friends with others.  It had nice pools.  The only issue was the fact it was the Mammothations holy month.  They took basically a whole month off of anything to relax and play.  Their religion was awesome, it didn’t promote fighting, praying or sacrifice like human religions.  It strongly endorsed enjoyment of life and one month of sheer vice.  The Mammothations (or Mams as everyone called them) were happiest when eating, gambling, playing games and enjoying the pool side.  They were a large hairy creature.  Not a lot different than humans, probably like a Chewbacca with thinning hair would be the best comparison, or a light haired bigfoot.  The smelt like sweaty socks though, not super-pungent but enough that you didn’t want to spend time right beside one.

Keith had forgotten about this holy month when he booked the appointment.  Working around holy periods for alien races was muscle memory he just automatically knew which aliens were off limits for sales at any given time and he didn’t really think about it.  So he forgot about this instinct in his personal time.  The resort would be filled with Mams and they would have to deal with some aroma all week.  Also the excessive partying might interfere with their time and the week ended with a large feast to commemorate the end of the holy month.  Oh well, if Tina and Keith could survive spending the most consecutive days together they ever had, and the smell of their fellow travellers, they probably were a good pairing.

The week had gone great, they had gambled a ton, Tina smoked everyone in the poker tournament and won all of their costs for the trip back and the respect of the Mams.  Many of them were very impressed with her gambling skill and her apparent enjoyment of the tournament.  So as the week went on they ended up spending half of the days relaxing pool-side or in their room, mostly to get away from the smell.  And the other half of the days partying with Mams blowing out all their vices for the final week of their celebration.   As the week came to a close one of the Mams and offered them an invite to the big feast.  Keith and Tina decided to extend their vacation one more day so they could be at the feast, a huge honour they figured.

The morning of the feast they checked out and loaded their ship.  They wanted to get out as soon as they were done the feast, get home and rest up for their return to work.  Everything loaded up they went to the casino and played some more games and had some fun.  The hour of the afternoon feast approached and they headed to the banquet.  Neither had been to a Mam feast and didn’t really know anything about the traditional meals.  This was weird to Keith, he had dealt with them for a long time and had an ok relationship with his clients.  Most other aliens he worked with, he also shared a few meals with, part of the gig was enjoying other races foods.  But he knew nothing of the Mams.  As they opened the door Keith quickly realized why.  A spit was setup and the fire was burning bright.  The spit was built to the perfect size to fit a human.  Two spits stood in the banquet area, Keith didn’t see anything in the room that size that needed to be cooked.  Well nothing except for him and Tina.  His eyes went wide and he realized he needed to stop getting himself into this.  He quickly grabbed Tina and ran her down the hall out the door, no way he was being cooked.  He was really on a bad role.  They ran down the walkway towards the ship, only to be cut off by Mams and herded back into the banquet area.

Keith sulked as they walked towards the room.  He realized all these close calls would eventually catch up to him.  He was hoping he would stop getting himself in jams first, but turns out it would catch him.  They walked into the banquet area, Keith held Tina’s hand and told her he loved her, for the first time.  She smiled through her tears.  They looked up to the spits resigned to their fates, only to see the spits turning giant six legged creatures already cooking.  Mam Boars.  Apparently the close calls were getting into Keith’s head.  The laughed and hugged and made their way to their seats for one of the best feasts of their lives!